Here I Am

Sunday, 24 October 2010 · 3 comments

It’s late, again, as I begin this.

It’s been a long day of packing. I’m in a near-panic, getting ready to leave this town, this country, to go to another world. It really is another world. I feel like I need a spacesuit or something for where I’m going, like I don’t belong in that atmosphere.

India.

I’m tired. I have many rounds left to chant. I’m ashamed to say I wasted a lot of time today.

Ekendra and I went to our storage unit today. As we crested a small hill on 441 southbound, I looked to the right and saw something that made me gasp, which startled E. What? he said.

I pointed, there: the full moon rising. It was impossibly full, as if it would burst any moment, showering us all with ice-cold milky light.

E. gets all slack-jawed when he sees beauty like that, like an atheist who’s just discovered God, like he’s been slapped in the face with sweetness and all he can do is stare, while another part of him drags his eyes away from the pull of pulchritude, back to the road, making sure he doesn’t swerve into a cow pasture. You gotta love that about him.

I do.

We weren’t looking for radiance, it found us. We just happened to be there.

So this is not going to be a long blog post, unlike yesterday’s, which kept me up at least three hours later than usual.

But I’ve made a promise to myself to write here every day. For Kartika.

I don’t have much to say tonight, really, except that:

sometimes we don’t have to be prepared,

sometimes we don’t have to have something important to say or do,

sometimes we don’t have to meet or exceed anyone’s expectations.

But it’s good to always keep our word, to get out of the house, out of our heads, and show up.

To go there, wherever it is.

India.

Highway 441.

Who knows what waits over the crest of the hill, the other side of the ocean?

But when the moon rises, the same moon, so will we.

When was the last time you found yourself, suddenly, astonishingly, there?


 

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Katie October 24, 2010 at 9:34 pm

Thanks for inviting me to your blog. I was so happy to check it out! I know you write and all, I just have never taken the time to navigate away from whay I am doing to read more, for fear that I will end up spending hours catching up on all the stuff I haven’t read that I know is good stuff. It’s happened before. But, this was beautiful, and I completely relate to the idea of “showing up.” I try to show up every day. It’s hard, but if I can do it, it always ends up being a pretty good day. 🙂 hugs -k

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Ekendra "Slackjaw" dasa October 24, 2010 at 6:33 am

I’ll try to yawn more often.

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Andee October 24, 2010 at 4:33 am

That was so beautiful! I loved your description of the moon.

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